You get emails all day…every day, right? Me too. Unless I know who they are from, 99% of the time, they will get deleted. Why?
Because most of the time, cold emails are poorly created. It had a poor subject. Maybe it made me feel obligated.
You’ve probably written a bad email. I know I have. Heck, I wrote a bad email this week, and it’s only Monday. That means I blew a great opportunity. On another note, I sent out an email last week that brought in 5 sales in one day. It did well because I added amazing value.
I’m going to share an email that was blindly sent to me this morning. It almost made me respond, but not for the right reason. I wanted to tell them how poorly this email was written. And what’s even worse…they most likely paid to get my email address.
Here it is:
With a few friends from college I have started a monthly online magazine called [name removed] Magazine, so far we have three issues available on issuu.com, we have received 576 reads, and 8,000 page views from over 27 countries. We have already received 81 reads of our most recent issue which was just published on Friday.
We are starting to get more likes on our Facebook page and more attention on issuu, I know that what we have is really well put together, we have an incredible photographer and graphic designer as well as amazing writers and I have no doubt in [name removed]’s ability to grow, with each issue I am contacted by more people who want to get involved. The only problem I have is advertising. I have yet to find any advertisers or to put any money into [name removed]. I really want to get advertisers so that I can actually start making money and be able to invest in what I know to be a truly great magazine.
We really need help finding advertisers, I know they’re out there, I just don’t know how to find them.”
My favorite line was “ I really want to get advertisers so that I can actually start making money…” Really? You want to make money? You just made me feel like a guy being hustled a “Rolex” in Chinatown.
OK, so let’s re-write this email and see if it could get a better response:
I’m touching base with you because I’ve recently started an online magazine that I think you will enjoy. We focus on arts and culture, and invite amazing creators to share their work.
We are still in the beginning stages, as we’ve only released three issues. However, the initial response has been amazing.
We are currently looking for businesses who believe in what we are doing, and who will begin to support something they enjoy, while also bringing attention to their business or organization.
If you are at all interested, I’d like to send over some of our initial statistics and analytics. Feel free to ask questions, and send feedback on our online magazine.
Here is a link to our latest issue: www.shouldhaveaddedalink.com
Thank you for your consideration.
It’s to the point, and doesn’t feel like I’m being asked to support an already failing project. Maybe I would have deleted the email anyway. But what if I didn’t? What if their introductory pricing to advertise was reasonable, and I decided to support their project?
So there you have it. Don’t write crappy emails unless you want a crappy response (note to self…I do it to).
P.S. Here are a few things I like to keep in mind when writing a sales email:
1) Don’t send an essay.
2) Have a great subject.
3) Tell them where you’re from, who you work for, and maybe your name, although this should be in your signature.
4) Tell them why you think they should have interest…not just how you’re the bestest.
5) Offer value. Maybe a discount or a super awesome amazing deal.
6) Give a reason for them to research you more.
7) Make yourself accessible.
8) Say goodbye.
Do you like mine better, or do you think it stinks as well? What would your email look like? Let me know with a comment.